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OK. I know. What the hell am I doing wearing a thong? I had a hydrocele several years ago. They collected 680 ml of liquid from my left scrotum. I had the damn thing for over a year because of Obama Care. Before Obama Care I would have been able to request that my health insurance waive the situation, but under the new ADA that was not allowed. So I had to wait a year. You see after a year, it was no longer a pre-existing condition.The left side of my scrotum at the time was the size of a large grapefruit. When it was fixed, the skin was permanently stretched out. It was uncomfortable to walk because of the extra skin. So the only underwear I could find that offered support were men’s thongs with a good sized pouch. That is the reason I wear thongs. Oh, and of course they are all bright and colorful or camouflaged. I figured what the hell.I walked down the hotel’s hallway and found Room 309. I knocked and the door was opened by Grace.“Hi, Mick. Come on in.” She was so cheery.I entered. "I want you to take this to the bathroom and open it in private. There'sa card inside that will explain what you need to do. You've got fiveminutes to do everything it says or the date's off. Got it?" Hang on... what? Can't I just open it here...?" No. Four minutes fifty. Better hurry!"What the hell? We were only ten minutes into the date and it was alreadygetting weird! Nevertheless, I only hesitated for a second more beforechecking my watch, grabbing the box and dashing for the toilets.Safely installed in a cubical, I tore off the ribbon and paper and openedthe box. A card lay in the top. As I lifted it out, I smelled Rae'sperfume on it. Underneath were a pair of dark red, lacy panties, asqueezy tube, a weird metal paperweight thing and a stretchy rubber ring.What on earth was I supposed to do with these?Conscious of Rae's time limit I scanned the card. Then, in shock, I readit again more closely:FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS EXACTLY OR THE DATE IS OVER.REMOVE YOUR TROUSERS AND THROW.
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